No, but really … How was Madeira?
February 23, 2008 at 7:36 pm | In Blogroll, Food, Madeira, Wimmin | Leave a CommentListen …
I could go on and on telling you about Madeira and its mountains, levadas, people and culture.
But I certainly aint a Rough Guide and I dont look that much like Judith Chalmers!
So lets just say I found it all rather good for my soul and it was just what I needed – it served its purpose.
So lets just have a wee photo show BawBag stylee …
One of the things thats first impressed me while stumbling about all over Funchal was the fact that people grow Bananas in their gardens …
… nice eh? Certainly makes a change fae crabby apples and rhubarb.
The fruit they had over there was AMAZING though! I didnt realise they had about 10 different types of Passion Fruit. I needed to sample them as soon as possible so we went to the fruit market and got absolutely fuckin stiffed by one of the stall holders …
Cost us a bloody fortune … mustve looked at the whiteness of ma body and thought “Tourists!!!”
The Fish Market was just next door so we took a quick look in to see Madeiras famous Scabbard fish. They serve it in all the restaurants out there and I had it a few times – its like a very deep strong Cod flavour – nice … but I reckon you couldnt eat it too often – youd get sick of it … and I mean that literally.
Thats them there … Bloody ugly things with huge eyes and teeth. Apparently they live very deep down and when they are netted and dragged up to the surface their intestines spew out of their arse because of the change in pressure … lovely.
One day we journeyed out to the other side of the island … the trip there was pretty hair raising – imagine the bus at the end of the Italian Job, teetering over the edge of massive cliff … well the opportunity for a re-enactment of that scene seemed to be just around every corner!!!
Anyway we survived it and got a chance to walk around a spooky little town that was tres religious … as this nativity scene demonstrates …
And then I stumbled upon a toy shop with this display …
Mibbe they come alive at night and go on some kinda murderous crusade?
Are kids supposed to PLAY with these???
Anyway …
Another cool thing about Madeira was that there was loads of these wee critters running around everywhere …
Ah desperately wanted tae catch one and put it in a matchbox and smuggle it back tae Blighty.
The missus talked me out of it.
Ho Hum.
While strolling around a supermarket in Funchal I came across this mens grooming product which kinda has an inverse result when translated intae Portuguese …
Magic eh! … It stops ye gettin yer end away.
Now that TICKLED me!
If you wanna see pics of Madeiras scenery there are thousands already on the web.
If you wanna get more of an idea of Madeiras culture check out this blog that I found – its obviously run its course but Ive read it end to end and its brilliant. Its in ma blogroll.
Bravo brave Orlaith … I wonder where she is now?
Im going to round it off with a pic of the missus in the mountains which I will probably have to remove when she finds out I have posted one …
Awrite Doll?
Bawbags 10 – Life 0 … Final Score.
Onwards
So how was Madeira?
February 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm | In Madeira, Wimmin | 5 CommentsIt was magic as it happens … Ta fir askin!
As it was a VERY late deal Bawbags got from First Choice the accomodation was going to be “allocated on arrival”.
I had prepared the missus for the worst by recounting stories of having to sleep in holes in walls and food poisoning while backpacking in Morrocco. After getting her suitably prepared for the worst we were shocked when we were taken to the 4 star Hotel Panaromica which overlooked the whole of Madeiras capital Funchal.
It wis ace ahm tellin ye.
Now lets get this straight at this point … I was breaking new ground for myself here – Bawbags is NOT the Package Holiday kinda guy … and this was the first I had ever been on.
Thoughts of a regimented itinerary, bus tours and the like were kinda freaking me oot a bit … but it turns oot that you could do whatever you liked if you wanted to – and thats exactly what we chose to do.
Apparently Madeira is for the Newly Weds and the Nearly Deads … all honeymooning couples and Old Age Pensioners.
After scruitinisation I found that analysis to be half true – I couldnt see any Honeymooners – it felt like we were the youngest holidaymakers on the island!!!
Take the hotel for example … it was full of Dutch and Germans in their socks and sandals, cargo shorts and hearing aids.
It was surreal – but in a nice and gentle way.
God only knows what they thought of us pair.
Now heres a weird thing – the hotel didnt pipe the normal smorgasbord of Muzak into the lifts … Nah, none o that shite … they had somehow managed tae get a hold of a recording of 80s AOR heroes Tpau in concert … and thought “This shit will do”.
Random or What?!!!
That old tart Carol Decker would be delighted she still has an audience!!!
I even serenaded the missus with a heart felt singalong to “Heart and Soul” until an elderly Dutch couple entered the lift and just stared in silence at us – I carried on regardless.
On another occasion the missus went for a swim in the outdoor swimming pool on the roof – when she came back she was slightly pertubed and told me that a big fat old German bloke had approached her and asked her where she was from.
She had told him that she was from Poland and that kinda drew a blank from him.
“Next time he speaks tae ye be more specific”, I said …
“Tell him youre from Auschwitz!!!”
Watch him squirm!!!
Who would be German if you had a choice eh?
No me ahm tellin ye!
Needless to say we didnt spend much time at the hotel – it was great though – people staying there were paying up to three times what we paid.
Ha!
Everyone cheer First Choice with your “Accomodation allocated on arrival” !!!
Bawbags 1 – Life 0
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