Harry BawBags Blurt

Ive been gettin intae a wee bit of trouble at work lately … none of which is directly my fault but I wanna give you an insight intae the kinda environment that work is for BawBags … just so ye can guage wether aw this chagrin that comes from ma keyboard is justified …

Ah get called intae see the personnel officer the other day and she tells me tae take a seat …

Here we go ah thought …

So she proceeds tae tell me that one of ma kitchen porters has handed in his notice on the grounds of him being discriminated against in the workplace … pure fumin she wis!!!

Whit?!!! Ah was pure stumped … theyre aw wankers ah thought … but DISCRIMINATION!!! … nah … no on BawBags watch!

Turns oot that its this Spanish bloke Ive got – middle aged, long haired, greasy, useless, unwashed spic that he is. (And he IS … Im sorry but he truly is).

“He feels that its unfair that he has not had an opportunity to carry out any food preparation duties” she tells me …

“Ok, Listen” ah butt in … “If thats the way its gonna be then ah admit to it – ah DO discriminate against him!”

Shouldve seen her face when ah said that! … trippin over it she wis!

“But ah dont discriminate against him cause hes Spanish … I discriminate against him cause he is lazy, filthy and irresponsible … he is just no up to working a day within a kitchen that the Enviromental Health can unexpectedly turn up and close down in”

“He cant be that bad” she says …

Steam comin oot ma ears ah tell her politely that he is …

“Well Ive had a good long chat with him and he is willing to retract his notice if he is given food prep duties in the future … so id like you to rota him on food prep all next week … the company cant be seen to be discriminating against any foreign workers …”

“Youd like me to … or I have to?”

She told me I NEEDED to.

FUX SAKE! … I wouldnt trust him with a dogs dinner never mind another fellow human beings.

So there ye go – BawBags the Head Chef has no say whatsoever on who works in his team … and bloody well look out if I dont treat them with Kid Gloves.

What kinda Head Chef is that?

Ach well … that Don Quixote of the Dishwash better get his tattie peelin head on … cause I aint lettin him near anythin else!